Core Concepts
Core Concepts
This is a collection of foundational tenets that guide my work and my own life.
Many if not most of the women I help have not been previously introduced to them. Still, the sooner they internalize these concepts as convictions, the smoother their path to a new kind of love becomes.
This is a collection of foundational tenets that guide my work and my own life.
Many if not most of the women I help have not been previously introduced to them. Still, the sooner they internalize these concepts as convictions, the smoother their path to a new kind of love becomes.
Your Worth Is Inherent, Not Earned
Understanding this is a crucial starting point in, among other things, recognizing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s do — in relationships, in family roles, professionally or otherwise.
Embracing your inherent worthiness is a pillar of self-love.
When you know at your core that your value is in your very existence, you can begin making choices centered in profound self-respect.
This shift in thought allows you stop measuring your value by what you do for others or by how well others accept you. It allows you to pursue your true desires, rather than doing what you think will earn others’ approval.
Self-Love Is Not Selfish
For millennia, we women have been conditioned to believe that selflessness is a virtue.
But prioritizing yourself is critically necessary for your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. The truth is, you’re most capable of kindness, compassion and generosity when you’re not depleted as a result of giving others more than you can replenish for yourself.
When your cup is full, you naturally have more to offer others. But most important is that you can give from a place of abundance, rather than from depletion or obligation.
Putting yourself first — and trusting others to do the same for themselves — is the foundation for healthier relationships and more meaningful contributions to the world.
You Are Not Responsible for Anyone but You
Okay, children who aren’t experientially or legally independent are exceptions.
But you are not responsible for what other adults do.
You are not responsible for what they think or believe. Nor are you responsible for how they feel.
It is not your job to try to manage their reactions, say for the sake of avoiding conflict or keeping the peace.
The only adult over whom you have any power is you.
That means you can only be responsible for your own actions.
… For what you think and believe.
… For your emotional reactions.
This isn’t about indifference. It’s about respect for yourself as the powerful creator of your own experience. It’s about respect for others as the powerful creators of their experiences.
Let this understanding free you from trying to “fix” others.
You transform you.
Trust others to transform themselves, if transformation is what they want.
Your Patterns Are Not Permanent
… Unless you allow them to be.
In every moment, you have the power to disrupt patterns that are restricting you. Because they’re not set in stone.
Right now, your restrictive patterns are most likely so familiar to you that they may feel irreversible. That makes it hard to imagine anything different.
But familiarity isn’t the same as fulfillment. And if fulfillment is what you’re looking for …
Well, somethin’s gotta give.
You don’t need to overhaul everything at once. In fact, trying to do that will almost certainly sabotage your efforts.
But you do need to start.
Boundaries Are Acts of Self-Love
Many women worry that setting and enforcing strong boundaries will make them seem cold and unloving, or will push others away.
As it turns out, the opposite is true.
Boundaries are not walls meant to keep others out. They’re bridges to deeper connections and more authentic relationships.
Their value isn’t exclusively about letting others know your limits. They also help you become ever clearer about what you truly value.
This allows you to show up fully as the real you, without being afraid of being bulldozed or misunderstood or worse.
The result? Deeper and more meaningful connections.
Self-Exploration Is Not a One-Time Event
Ideally, it’s a lifelong process.
Self-knowledge changes everything and is changed by everything. Therefore, self-discovery is a continuously evolving journey.
As you encounter new experiences, you change.
As you move through different phases of life, your perspectives shift.
Throughout those shifts and changes, you reevaluate what you want, what you need and what is truly valuable to you.
The more you attune your life to who you are on all levels of your existence, the more of yourself you’ll want to experience.
So, the transformations never stop. They simply become layered.
